Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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