I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
