The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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