who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
