she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Come see our sink grown plant.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize