We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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