Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
