Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
