Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize