Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
