I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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