end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
