I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We just shotgunned beers for America
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
