She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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