My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Vodka?
Forever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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