Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
