Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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