Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
