kristin has been a bad kristin
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize