i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
