try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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