how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
