I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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