I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
