marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
