Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
