tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
