Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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