then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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