Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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