it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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