i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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