I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
