his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
