watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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