my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize