Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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