The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
