R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh god the rape fog is back!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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