He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
