failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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