this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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