what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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