We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
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I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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