I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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