I want to have your abortion
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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