Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
