there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
