When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
