Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Fuck appropriateness.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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