I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
