she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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