is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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