Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
