I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
