I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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