well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize