i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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