I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
