i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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