I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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