i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
