I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
