Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
