I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize