PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
