I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
