What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
