There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
