you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
