I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
