We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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