ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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